That was Good For Her, was it good for you?

My article about the sex toy shop:

Carlyle Jansen scrolls through an e-mail with photographs of a young brunette tied up in intricate red and black ropes. She stops on one showing an angled shot of the model’s limbs with deep red rows of lines from where the ropes had been pressing.

“I like that one,” she remarks, saying how she prefers photographs where it is difficult to figure out what is going on. The email is a proposal for an art show, but Jansen is not impressed with the full set. She dislikes the typical dominant male and subordinate female and the narrow range of body types and ethnicities with only one thin, white female.

The e-mail is a proposal for an art show, and is part of a perfectly routine Friday morning for Jansen, 41, the owner and founder of Good For Her, a Toronto sex toy shop catered towards women.

***

At 175 Harbord St. sits what looks like a typical semi-detached Annex house. Inside is an inviting space with wooden floors, cozy armchairs and warm yellow walls, but they happen to be lined with whips, leather collars, and “dills” and “vibes”. Erotic photography hovers above the shelves of feminist magazines, books about sexuality and adult videos. This is Jansen’s brainchild.

Born and raised in Toronto, Jansen left the city at 18 to get a commerce degree at the University of British Columbia. In 1993 she was off to Antioch University in Seattle, Washington for a masters degree in whole-systems design. It was during this time that the seeds of Good For Her were planted.

In 1995 she attended her sister’s bridal shower and brought her sex toys as a gift. Her sister’s friends were so impressed with the ease at which Jansen discussed sexuality that they suggested she start giving workshops. This was new for Jansen, who just a couple of years earlier had been uncomfortable with her sexuality and had been dumped for not being able to orgasm.

She took the advice and opened Good For Her in May 1997. Jansen now has two children, Willem, 2, and Nazrik, 4. Jansen identifies as bisexual and is currently seeing Helen Kennedy, a politician and social activist who has worked with Olivia Chow in the Trinity-Spadina ward of Toronto.

***

“I don’t really have a desk so I have to float around,” says Jansen as she kneels on the carpet of the second floor of the shop.

The second floor houses the office space for the shop as well as hosts Good For Her’s workshops. A white board on the wall has drawings of female genitalia from two angles and the word “contractions” half erased. Harness clips dangle from the ceiling. Pens, papers and toys are scattered on the floor.

Jansen spreads out the evaluation forms from the workshop she hosted the night before entitled “Bigger, Better and Multiple Orgasms for Women.” The workshop included tips to finding a woman’s g-spot and potential hinges such as poor body image and poor technique.

On the evaluations are many circled 10s and comments such as “I loved it,” and how the participant liked “the relaxed/informal atmosphere.” Singing along to a Scorpions song, Jansen snips off the e-mail addresses scrolled at the bottom of each evaluation to add to a mailing list.

***

The next day, Saturday, Jan. 26, Good For Her will have a table at a pro-choice event at Ryerson University, and Jansen is preparing with her employee Allison.

“I’ll wear my ‘Masturbation is Good For Her’ shirt,” says Jansen as they sit in a cramped office next to the main workshop space.

They decide Good For Her just requires a presence at the event, and don’t expect to sell anything. A week earlier Good For Her hosted a sex toy party at the Women’s Centre but had a poor turn-out.

Jansen heads back downstairs to pick out a selection of toys to bring.

“I want interesting toys,” she muses as she puts her hands on her hips and looks over the assortment of sex toys on the shelf. She decides on a Cone, a bubblegum pink vibrating toy shaped as the name would suggest, a Delight, a bright, curved g-spot stimulator that vaguely resembles a seahorse, and a travel-size Rubba Duckie Vibrator, a cute yellow toy just slightly smaller than its bath time cousin. She scribbles down the names along with a few others.

***

At 2 p.m. Jansen fields a call from a woman in Vancouver experiencing pain during intercourse with her partner.

“Tell me a little more about the pain. Where, how much, what you’ve done...” Jansen asks, “Do you remember the first time you were like ‘ow, that normally doesn’t feel that way’?”

As Jansen twirls back and forth in her chair, the woman describes how she feels the pain when intercourse begins.

Jansen quickly identifies the problem. “Your body is thinking ‘oh no here comes the pain,’” suggesting that the woman anticipates the pain and tenses up. “Why don’t I tell you what I’ve done.”

Jansen recommends the “vaginal exercise kit” from the Good For Her website. It is a set of six silicone phallic exercisers retailing for $160.

She instructs the caller to start with the smallest exerciser and gradually work her way up. “The moment you feel pain, stop. Take a deep breath and squeeze around the toy and relax,” she tells the caller while absentmindedly squeezing and releasing her hand.

“What you’re teaching your body is that penetration isn’t about pain."

Just then applause and a hearty "woo!" fill the shop as Good For Her's slick, new website goes live, marking another notch in Jansen's belt.

PS: New colours, woo.